Different Ways to Rest

To be very honest here, I almost didn’t make this month’s blog. Besides the fact that I am in a season where I’m truly doing so many things at the same time, I also feel like my body, mind and soul have been screaming for rest in so many ways, yet my to-do list doesn’t care. Lol.

That being said, this feeling became the inspiration for this month’s blog, as I know I won’t and can’t be the only one going through seasons of feeling close to exploding in every way possible, as sometimes it all just feels like a lot. This made me reflect on myself, ’cause we can, say, simply have a good night’s sleep or drink a lil more water, but this alone doesn’t help when you truly have seasons of exhaustion in different ways or within different moments.

This made me go inside myself and truly check on myself what kind of rest I’m currently craving and how I can help bring myself back into balance in all areas. This past month, I have been practicing the following awareness and applying the needed steps to feel more rested in all areas, and I would love to share them with you.

These are the types of rest (I believe) your body, mind and spirit need.

PHYSICAL REST

“You think I sleep? That’s cute,” lol.

Let’s be real: when you feel tired… almost anything feels impossible. When I feel physically exhausted, nothing is fun anymore. As much as I want to show up and be present in the moment, I have experienced that you can’t truly grow, heal or be present when you’re running on empty. Pushing through your tiredness, covering it with loads of coffee or of work-outs for temporary dopamine hits are indeed quick fixes, but not sustainable.

On top of this, I am a person who (as much as you might think I don’t) needs a lot of sleep. I have a lot of energy to give and share, and, no matter what room I enter, this energy will be pulled out of me. But you can’t give from an empty cup. So I am currently learning to prioritize my sleep time more often, as half-ass energy-giving is not on brand for me. So I prefer, whenever I feel physically tired, to not be present, and to sleep instead, so when I do show up, I can show up as the woman I know I can be… instead of being triggered into people-pleasing and passing on half-ass versions of myself.

(I don’t know if you have ever taken a deep dive into human design… I did, and it has clarified SO MUCH for me, about me and about my energy system. I am, for example, a Projector, and projectors function in general better when they are rested and fulfilled. Knowing now that my power lies not in the amount of hard work I do, but is valued because of the quality and the intensity of the work itself, helps me feel less guilty about choosing my rest. I finally realized: rest is what makes me become the best version of myself! Understanding my human design has truly helped me in so many ways. So if you are curious about yours, I strongly recommend doing your research about this. See it as astrology for your energy system; it’s so dope and helpful!)

What to do?

Eat nourishing food and prioritize 7-9 hours of sleep at least. Also, take naps when needed. Whenever I worked on cruise ships, I was a HUGE napper. My nickname used to be “Sleepy Lion,” as, if I wasn’t out on the deck dancing my butt off, I often was having a nap somewhere on the swaying ship. I guess I have reached the moment where taking guilt-free naps should become more of a normal thing in my life again. Simply a 20-min key nap can do wonders!  Hold your keys in one hand, take a nap, and the moment your body is truly relaxed, the keys drop out of your hand onto the floor. This will be your natural alarm clock, when your body has truly relaxed without getting into too much of a deep sleep state, where waking up feels like an impossible task.

MENTAL REST

Whenever your brain is on: always thinking and staying active, you never feel rested. A noisy mind is great when needed, but just like a computer, it can only function long enough until it crashes if you don’t shut it off often or long enough. Being an entrepreneur kind of means you are often working 24/7 if you don’t plan well or focus on scheduled moments of time-off. I catch myself always thinking ahead about the next step for my business or linking daily inspiration and activities to my work, brand or getting daily fueled by life’s gems, which means my brain never has a moment of quietness if I don’t consciously allow it to rest. And, this can become SO EXHAUSTING over time.

What to do?

Brain dump all your thoughts on paper, write a to-do list and stick to it, schedule free thinking time or simply meditate or allow yourself to do something, even as little as 15 min, that you don’t need your brain for. Listen to music, do a breathing exercise, take a walk with a friend to talk all your thoughts out, whatever feels the most natural to you to release the overwork your brain is doing. Choosing an activity that doesn’t involve a screen often helps me too. I love a good skating adventure to clear up my mind. By allowing the thoughts to be there, I kind of give them space to be and say what they need to say, which helps me release them. (This past week, I went snowboarding in Chile, and this truly was such a mental rest, be-in-the-moment experience for me.)

EMOTIONAL REST

You know when your emotions are going everywhere, you’re feeling all the feelings, are second guessing, if you believe these feelings are even needed to be so present, and yet they are taking over! Feeling emotionally exhausted has been a common theme in my life, as I always feel everything so super intensely. And, I believe, holding it all-in is its own form of exhaustion, just like saying “yes” when you want to say “no” is kind of the worst thing you can do to your emotional body. Imagine you’re feeling already emotionally overwhelmed and now you decide to also surround yourself with draining energy. FORGET IT!

What to do?

Express your feelings, set firm boundaries and stay authentic and real without shame or apologizing for how you feel. I have noticed no matter how scary it can feel to be honest about the emotional world that is living inside you, expressing yourself honestly, respectfully and truthfully is always the perfect release when you feel emotionally overloaded. If someone is not ready or capable of handling your truth, it is not your responsibility. What is your responsibility is staying truthful to yourself and your feelings so you can keep your emotional body balanced.

SOCIAL REST

If I look back on my life so far, I am well aware that I have built an enormous social network and have connected with a lot more people because of my lifestyle than the ordinary Susan. Whenever you are a light, people also feel drawn to your energy, and if you don’t consciously pay attention to the rooms you allow yourself to be in, you become aware sooner rather than later that not every connection is nourishing. It’s okay to sometimes be the source of the energy in a certain space, but this can’t be the case all the time. Having a job where I am ALWAYS surrounded by people, and always have to pour my energy around – as this is basically the foundation of my (energy) work – has made me become more conscious over time about where I want to spend my free, social time, as too many interactions, especially demanding or toxic ones, leave me eventually burnt out.

What to do?

Plan your me-time. I used to think that when I was free on the calendar, this must mean I’m free to join! “Yes, of course I’ll be there,” whenever I didn’t have anything on my calendar in that moment, felt right. Having three dates in one day was kind of normal to me. But I have learned now that running around from appointment to appointment is not the way to go. ’Cause when will there be time for myself to check in with me? What do I actually crave or need? Besides my me-time, I have learned to create space mostly for relationships that actually recharge and uplift me. Not everyone has the capability to recharge you, and this is totally okay. Nobody is checking who is giving or pouring more, but when you notice certain relationships start to suck you dry, it might be time to rearrange your socials. The moment I feel like my relationships are an unconscious even flow of pouring and receiving, these are the ones that fill me up and actually energize me instead of leaving me feeling dry and defeated. How aware are you of the energy of your surroundings, and are your people leaving you feeling empty or reloaded? Choosing your surroundings wisely will have an enormous influence on your social fuel and state.

SENSORY REST

Did you know that your nervous system needs quiet time to recalibrate? Constantly being triggered by, for example, constant notifications, keeps your body on high alert. Add a big dose of daily adrenaline, big lighting changes on stage, loud sounds during my work and then add my beautiful ADHD brain to it, which notices and sees everything… if I don’t watch out, my nervous system doesn’t even remember what peace feels like.

What to do?

Creating environments which calm my senses has a huge influence on me. Calm and cozy lighting, candles, nice smelling senses or oils, music that relaxes me, a bath or treatment oils for my body, you name it. Bringing the right vibes truly helps me calm down. Turning off background noise or turning on the right music is a big one. Dimming lights in the evenings and creating phone-free moments so I can truly stay in the present moment are other examples. Lying down for 10 minutes while focusing on my breathing (4 seconds in, 8 seconds out) can truly reset my nervous system too. In Curaçao, I once did a nervous system treatment where they slowly, mm by mm, leaked oil onto my hairline for 1 hour, and it truly brought me into a meditation where my entire nervous system started to go to almost a peaceful, sleeping stand, while my brain was still awake. I had never experienced a feeling where my entire nervous system relaxed while not being asleep and my brain still functioned. Magical! I strongly recommend a Shirodara treatment whenever your nervous system is asking for a reset.

SOUL REST

Some days, my soul just wants to do whatever lights my soul up, and if I don’t schedule enough moments where my soul feels recharged, I end up draining my own spirit.

What to do?

This is a personal answer, as we all are different. For example, how wildly crazy this might sound... Going clubbing, going to a festival or dancing in my room is truly my ideal way of letting my soul recharge. Hours of dancing feels like meditation to my soul and fuels me in ways many might never understand. Yet yours might be surfing, drawing, or hiking. Your Soul Rest might actually go hand in hand with your Mind Rest, and that’s all good. As long as you are aware what part of your essence is recharging, no matter how physically active this might be, is what counts.

CREATIVE REST

Being a creative, an artist, an entrepreneur and an inspirer means I am constantly creating. Yet, inspiration only comes when you stop forcing it and allow it to be and flow naturally. Launching several projects back-to-back means sometimes I can’t wait for the creativity to come to me, as I’m dealing with deadlines. Yet, always producing and never pausing leads to a creative block.

What to do?

Go for a walk in nature, visit an art show or gallery, read a book, watch a sunset, go to a concert, be inspired and become a consumer instead of always being the one who creates. Let your curiosity guide you without expecting an outcome or trying to achieve a goal. Simply be and allow life to guide you.

PURPOSEFUL REST

Fulfillment is its own form of energy, and feeling disconnected can really dim your spirit. I love the feeling like I have figured out my life’s purpose, which drives me to stay aligned with my path each day. Yet, there have been moments and seasons in my life where I was second guessing my purpose. Not living purposefully can be such a draining season, which often makes me lean into depressive feelings and states instead of exciting ones.

What to do?

Align with your values, work on something that makes you forget time and find out your passions in life, so this can lead you to your purpose! By actively bringing yourself back into alignment and flow leads you often to living purposefully again. Questioning your current passion and purpose in life? Listen to my free audio recording, which will lead you back into alignment.

Press for Purpose

I believe our mind, body, spirit and the universe itself always communicates their needs to us. The problem is, we often refuse to listen, which then pushes us into a (close to) burn-out experience. This is never the goal of the universe, as I believe burn-outs are simply there to show us we are living out of alignment or out of balance in some areas. These uncomfortable moments are opportunities for us to recognize our resting needs and to follow up on these desires. By listening to these signs, we help ourselves to be ahead of the worst chapters of our lives and allow us instead to show up for ourselves in the best way possible.

Whenever we feel exhausted, it’s easy to start the blame game or turn up our victim role. May this post inspire you to be “the cause” of your own choices and actions. By truly creating awareness and tuning into the above, you will allow yourself to respond accordingly and to live more lightly.